NOTE: I decided to break this post up into 3 parts due to the amount of ground covered. I will finish and deliver part 2 next week.
And fair warning, the content of this post might cause you to go “full salute” if this is all new to you. I don’t recommend reading this immediately before a work meeting 😉
I hope this post will titillate your holy imagination.
There is a tremendous hunger for the truth about biblical sexuality. I don’t even think people realized how they starved they are.
Men who take a moralistic view of sexuality find our sexual instincts to be shameful and inconvenient.
Nevertheless, we are not bound to the traditions of men. Our sexual natures point to divine purpose, and the Scriptures affirm our instincts.
Contrary to what conventional Christianity would lead you to believe, the Bible is actually FULL of sexual references.
But for this series, I’m just going to introduce what I see to be the 3 “pillars” of healthy biblical sexuality. I’ll cover the first pillar in this post.
Buckle up. It’s going to be a fun ride…
Pillar #1: The Biological Imperative (Genesis 1-3)
Man is fundamentally a sexual being. Woman was taken out of man, and there is a powerful pull to join the parts together again.
“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Matthew 19:6)
The sexual instinct is good and it is created by God.
The Genesis story is critically important because it highlights not only the origins of our sexual instincts… but also which attributes of our sexuality are important.
Let’s take a look…
God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number (Gen 1:28)
The instinct to breed is fundamental to human existence. A celebration of baby-making is central to biblical sexuality.
I guarantee you we would not have a feminism problem if the pregnant form were culturally celebrated. The instinct to make babies is too strong to resist.
But there’s more too it…
The LORD God also said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make for him a suitable helper.”
“Helper” in Hebrew is ezer. The word is synonymous with our English word “succor” – one who gives assistance in time of distress.
What was the first man’s distress? Was he having difficulty classifying the animals?
I think not. There is a much more primal “distress” a man experiences that a woman is suited to help relieve. A distress that might be intensified by spending the better part of your days studying animal mating behavior.
The man’s need to relieve the ache of excess seed is what drives him to the woman.
As a popular band astutely observed:
When masturbation’s lost its fun
You’re fucking lonely
~Green Day, “Longview”
Not only does the man need to release his seed, but the woman herself craves the seed of the man:
Your desire will be for your husband (Gen 3:16)
God emphasized this desire immediately after he told the woman she would experience great pain in childbearing. The desire for the man’s seed overrides the woman’s fear of childbirth.
Some theologians say the woman’s “desire” was a desire to rule over her husband. As the ESV translates it, “your desire will be contrary to your husband.”
The reason theologians think this is because they are beta males who have never experienced genuine desire from a woman. They can’t imagine anything but a nagging woman who reluctantly drip feeds her husband sexual favors.
Women crave the seed from alpha men. She wants his babies. Caution be damned.
There’s another implication to this craving:
Fertile ground must be opened through vigorous plowing so the seed can be planted deep inside.
There is some resistance here. Some erotic tension.
Seed goes in the same place the fruit of the womb comes out. And, apparently, God significantly reduced the size of the baby-making canal as a consequence of the first sin.
And yet, the desire remains.
The need for the woman to be “opened” in preparation for the seed explains the erotic craving for a certain… um… “robustness” on part of the man:
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
~ Ezekiel 23:20
This phenomenon would also explain the universal insecurity of every man.
(Side note: From what I can tell, women are turned on by the *idea* of girth more so than actual dimensions. It will behoove you to poetically exaggerate the beastliness of your masculine endowments. It’s all in her head.)
Regardless, a woman is deeply aroused by the thought of a man who gives “more than she can handle.” This is the key to “bedroom talk.”
This primal craving of the woman creates a very interesting problem.
As the saying goes, “don’t try to turn a hoe into a housewife.”
The difference between the hoe and the housewife is not that one is sexual and the other is not. The difference is one is loyal to the man who subdued her, while the other runs wild until she becomes a damaged woman.
Marital strifes are nothing more than an unsubdued woman secretly yearning for her man to put her in her place. Unfortunately, most men don’t get the memo and so the tension never resolves into bedroom passion.
The woman’s sexual yearning is strong. If she does not find a man strong enough to subdue her, she will likely end up “riding the cock carousel” or having an affair later in life. This is why God paired the woman’s desire with the following declaration:
Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.
~ Genesis 3:16
Dominance is the key to a woman’s heart.
Playfully assert your dominance when you flirt with her. Fill her head with dominance-submission fantasies (e.g. boss-secretary, master-slave, “daddy”, professor-student, etc.)
And most importantly, put your own agenda first. There is no greater power a man has over a woman than the ability to tell her “no” when she needs to hear it.
So that’s the basics… and hot damn! All that from a few passages in Genesis. And this is just basic basic biology. No special insights. Just laying the groundwork.
Stay tuned for more…