Let’s talk about everyone’s favorite topic:
This is a popular topic among Christians for obvious reasons. Our day-to-day experience of life is from the role of a man or woman… husband, wife, father, mother, single, etc.
Gender roles are our “job descriptions” if you will.
Biblical gender roles are actually quite simple. But we complicate them in our sexually confused society.
The woman only has one role. Just one:
Submit to HER man (not any other authority.)
A lot of people don’t know this, but if you examine the (in)famous Ephesians 5:22 passage there is no direct command for women to submit.
There’s also an emphasis on the word “own.” And, as I’ve written about before, there are no separate biblical Greek words for “husband” or “wife.” It’s simply “man” and “woman.”
So the text simply reads “Women, to their OWN men, as to the Lord.
This isn’t to say that women were not directly instructed to submit themselves to their husbands. In Collossians 3:18, Paul says just that.
But in this Ephesians passage I believe Paul is emphasizing the freedom the woman has from submitting herself to her own man as opposed to being ruled by other authorities.
A woman’s mind is full of authoritative voices telling her what to believe and how to behave. She lives in a world of “should’s” and “should nots.”
Should she listen to her doctor? Her pastor? Her friends? Her father? Her mother? Her brothers? Her counselor? Her boss? Oprah?
Women are not designed to be independent thinkers. And society is full of authority figures who rise up to give women instruction on how to live.
And the advice will always conflict. It’s a source of distress for a woman.
But the Bible’s solution is simple and liberating:
Submit to your own man. Ignore all other voices and heed the voice of your lover.
The perfect woman is a woman who will
Bail you out of jail and
help you bury the body!
Not that you should get yourself in a situation like that, but you get the idea 😉
The man has more responsibilities. Though his role too, is simple and suited to his nature.
The man has three responsibilities towards his woman:
- Rescue and protect her from danger
- Beautify her (through proper nourishment and clothing)
- Fulfill her sexual needs
When a man marries a woman, he commits to doing all of the above for the woman for life (or until she proves herself a whore.)
A poetic example of this is found in Ezekiel 16:
On the day you were born your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to make you clean, nor were you rubbed with salt or wrapped in cloths. No one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough to do any of these things for you. Rather, you were thrown out into the open field, for on the day you were born you were despised.
“‘Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, “Live!” I made you grow like a plant of the field. You grew and developed and entered puberty. Your breasts had formed and your hair had grown, yet you were stark naked.
“‘Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you [euphemism] and covered your naked body. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine.
“‘I bathed you with water and washed the blood from you and put ointments on you. I clothed you with an embroidered dress and put sandals of fine leather on you. I dressed you in fine linen and covered you with costly garments. I adorned you with jewelry: I put bracelets on your arms and a necklace around your neck, and I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. So you were adorned with gold and silver; your clothes were of fine linen and costly fabric and embroidered cloth. Your food was honey, olive oil and the finest flour. You became very beautiful and rose to be a queen. And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign Lord.
Cross reference the above passage with Ephesians 5:25-33 and Exodus 21:10.
Did you notice something about these passages?
It’s the exact opposite of what men are taught nowadays. (Welcome to the Upside Down.)
Today, men are taught that the wife gives sex to the husband.
The implicit contract of modern marriage is that the husband will labor long hours to earn an income to buy his wife a bigger house, appliances, decorations for the home, etc.
And in exchange for being a “responsible man,” he’s supposed to be rewarded with an occassional sexual reward.
Or, in circles that make at least some attempt to follow the Bible, the wife will agree to a weekly round of duty sex in order to help her husband avoid “tempation.”
The entire set up is bullshit.
The real sexual exchange is as follows:
1. Woman obeys man.
2. Man awards woman with attention and sex.
(This is actually a cycle so it doesn’t matter where it begins. I’m too lazy to draw a graph, but imagine two arrows connecting the two exhanges in a never-ending loop.)
The real distinguishing features of biblical gender roles (as opposed to secular sexuality) are:
- The man seeks to rescue the woman from her distress (this is instinctual but the Bible elevates the Savior role as the central theme of the erotic drama)
- The man actively beautifies his woman for his own pleasure
- Sex is a symbolic act of Christ’s love for the Body
The Scriptures infuse sexuality with a poetic beauty. But at the mechanical level, sex is still about a man giving a woman sexual attention in exchange for her obedience.
Modern husbands would do well to take a cue from the “Soup Nazi” when dealing with unsubmissive wives:
“No sex for you!”
P.S. You guys seriously need to start listening to Andrew Tate on women. The stuff he teaches makes red pill guys look like a bunch of dorks.
Tate’s obviously a wordly man, but in evil times such as these, a God-fearing man has to piece together the truth wherever he finds it.