Your wife is not a lab rat

So stop trying to “lead” her through rewards and punishments.

This philosophy is known as “behaviorism” and it will lead to (at best) a lot of work or (at worst) a relationship blowup.

Here’s why this approach is so dangerous…

Behaviorism is dangerous because it (sort of) works. People do respond in the short-run to rewards and punishments.

If you deliberately withhold your attention when she “misbehaves” or praise her for “good behavior”, she will respond.

But here’s the problem:

She will ONLY change that one particular behavior and she’ll STOP acting according to your preferences when the rewards/punishments stop.

That’s a lot of work.

Plus, she may resent the fact that you’re trying to control her.

Thankfully, there’s an easier way…

Addressing behavior is only dealing with the surface problem.

You’ve got to get to the ROOT.

Women (and anyone) behave in certain ways because of their IDENTITY… who they believe themselves to be.


Change the identity, and the behaviors change naturally.

How do you change a woman’s identity?


Give her nicknames. Do it in a teasing way or during her bedroom climaxes.

She’s a “feminine girl”, your “sexy little kitten,” your “fertile housewife,” etc.

Soon enough, she will change her behaviors to match her identities.

Influencing someone through identity is a long-term strategy.

You won’t see immediate results, but you will see PERMANENT results.

In the end, the rewards-and-punishments approach doesn’t last. Plus, it’s kind of coercive.

Identity change beats behavior control every time.

I talk a lot about women and sex in my free Tribe Builders email course. You’d be surprised how much more simple and pleasant things become when you ignore the online chatter and just get back to the basics.

Sign up here:

Gillette is hurting women

This new stupid #GilletteAd is hurting women more than men.

Here’s the thing:

Men who are confident in their masculinity don’t pay attention to shit like that. They’re used to be shamed for being a man and they don’t care.

But imagine being a woman watching that…

Women are biologically attracted to masculine men… yet they are brainwashed into thinking such men are “toxic.”

What she consciously believes to be the ideal man directly contradicts her natural desires.

It is really women who live in a constant state of shame and guilt.

Masculine men are always “shit tested.” This media propaganda is simply another one of those tests.

However, I am concerned for my daughter, who will grow up in a world where weak men are exalted and masculine men are deemed “toxic.”

She’s going to have some confusion.

As men, it is our duty to protect our tribe from such nonsense.

Secure the perimeter.

Provide safety.

Let your people live lives of natural happiness… free from these greedy manipulators who pervert the natural order.

If you need a map, go here:

The Biblical secret to arousing a woman

Here’s a “shortcut” way to arouse a woman, straight from the Holy Bible:

“Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun. My mother’s sons were angry with me and made me take care of the vineyards; my own vineyard I had to neglect.”

Song of Solomon 1:7

Men are taught that women are aroused by praise: make her feel beautiful.

In reality, it is the feeling of inadequacy that triggers both arousal and submission in a woman.

Inadequacy means lacking what is required; an inability to deal with a situation.

As in the example above, the woman feels her beauty is inadequate for the king. “Do not stare at me” she says.

She attributes her lack of beauty to an abusive situation: “My mother’s sons were angry with me… my own vineyard [body] I had to neglect.”

Yet she yearns…

The woman’s sense of inadequacy is confirmed in the New Testament:

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

Ephesians 5:21

“Reverence” is translated from the Greek ‘phobos‘ which means fear, specifically a withdrawal because feeling inadequate.

The first relationship Paul lists as being based on reverence is the husband and wife relationship.

The woman is supposed to feel inadequate in the presence of her man, and thus she reverences him.

This sense of inadequacy is both the foundation of respect and sexual arousal

If you don’t believe this, I challenge you to come up with ANY female sexual fantasy that does not include a sense of inadequacy on part of the woman.

Every sexual fantasy involves the woman facing a situation she cannot overcome and surrendering her body as a result.

As a man, you do not need to control your woman’s behavior through rewards and punishments. You’re not dealing with a lab rat.

You simply need to be a few steps ahead in your personal development than her so that she feels inadequate in your presence.

If you’re having trouble developing yourself as a man due to “overthinking”, the framework I use is specifically designed to solve that problem. You can read about it here:

Tribalism and killer robots

Here’s something that might titillate your manly ambitions…

@naval recently tweeted a compelling vision of our future:

“The distant future is small free cities with drone armies and skill-based immigration policies, surrounded by a sea of failed socialist states.”

These “small free cities” are a plausible scenario. The trends are already happening.

And we know the governments of the world are fragile. In due time, they will collapse.

So where does that leave us?

The most natural order is to return to a form of tribalism.

Large collectivist communities are fragile and ripe for disruption. The natural order is small tribes led by an alpha male.

Whenever a group exceeds about 150 people there is an opportunity for an alpha to identify a segment of under-served people and start his own tribe.

Demand for alpha males will be greater than ever. But most men will be soyed over and pacified via sex dolls

Meanwhile, as @AJA_Cortes put it:

“The elite and sovereign individuals enjoy farmed meat and dairy raised in protected enclaves surrounded by hunter/killer drones”

If you manage to retain your masculinity in this “brave new world” and build yourself a little war chest, you could literally end up a chief of your own tribe.

You could even be a king of your own f*cking city!

Let that sink in for a moment.

What are the perks of leading your own tribe?

1. First choice of mate
2. Eat like a king

Plus the satisfaction of doing good in the world, protecting innocent lives, establishing your own culture, and all that good stuff.

We don’t know exactly how the future will play out. But one thing we do know:

Masculine men will always be needed. The supply is going down and value is increasing.

You may be half the man as your great-grandfather, but in the land of eunuchs, the half-man gets to be king.

Speaking of building your own tribe…

I have an in-depth article that shows you how to prepare yourself for such a future. It’s written especially for smart guys who struggle with “overthinking.”

Check it out here:

How incels screw up the red pill

I’ve written before that I consider red pill philosophy to be a gift from God.

I’ve learned important truths about women that I simply was not recognizing on my own.


Some men can still turn a blessing into a curse.

There is a deep divide in the red pill “community.” It centers around the issue of hypergamy.

Some men like to focus on what is wrong with women. They point and jeer behind the safety of a computer screen. “Look at what these women are doing! This is why the West is screwed.”

Men who complain about hypergamy are dumb asses.

Yes, you may have gotten “screwed over.” But it was ignorance of reality that screwed you, not women.

If you need to vent your anger, blame the systems that kept you in the dark:

– The school system
– Feminist media
– The church

Use your anger as energy to build a better future.

Don’t let the next generation of men go through the same shit you went through. You have a part to play in this narrative of unplugging from the lies.

Awareness can feel like a burden. But it is the first step to leadership.

If you want to channel your red pill awareness into something productive, I have an in-depth article on my site that shows you how.

To my knowledge, it’s the most comprehensive solution to the “overthinking” problem faced by many red pill men.

On leading a woman

Here’s something interesting I discovered about a man’s biblical leadership…

Christian men, if they even believe in headship, typically assume they’re supposed to be the “spiritual leader” (e.g. leading family devotions).

Ironically, this is not what the Bible teaches…

Ephesians 5 tells us the man’s active duty:

…having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory

Just as Christ:Church so Man:Wife.

You probably knew that.

But here’s where it gets interesting…

Few Christians realize that “washing” the woman and the presentation is an allusion to the ancient practice of a king preparing his consort:

Your breasts had formed and your hair had grown, yet you were stark naked.

“‘Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your naked body. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine.

“‘I bathed you with water and washed the blood from you and put ointments on you. I clothed you with an embroidered dress and put sandals of fine leather on you. I dressed you in fine linen and covered you with costly garments. I adorned you with jewelry: I put bracelets on your arms and a necklace around your neck, and I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. So you were adorned with gold and silver; your clothes were of fine linen and costly fabric and embroidered cloth. Your food was honey, olive oil and the finest flour. You became very beautiful and rose to be a queen. And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign Lord.

Ezekiel 16:7-14 [emphasis mine]

Scripture interprets scripture.

If a meaning of a metaphor isn’t immediately clear, we do not turn to theology. We search the Scriptures.

The man’s biblical duty is to beautify the woman’s body for HIS pleasure. (c.f. Eph 5:25-29; Es 2:12; Ps 45:13-14; Ezk 16:7-14)

Churchians have tried to hide this great (erotic) truth from men by emphasizing that it is “God’s word” that cleanses the woman.

But this is not what the Scriptures say. Men imitate Christ by cleansing their bride through “rhema” – a thing spoken, a matter of business.

There is no reference to “God’s” word.

Most “Bible believers” will be offended by this.

Their minds have become dull through repeated exposure to church traditions.

But you can look it up for yourself. Use a tool like  to examine the underlying Greek.

I’m not here for the hard-hearted and dim-witted.

I’m here for those willing to slow down, examine the nuances, and extract the wisdom.

The church is ran by the dogmas of overconfident idiots

If you are sincerely seeking wisdom from God’s word, here’s a good place to start.